1 month ago
Extraordinary stop-motion film featuring Michael Arthur’s live illustration of World Record Appreciation Society #17. All records/record setters from the event are featured. Michael then auctioned off the artwork, with all proceeds donated to Special Olympics New York.
1 month ago
NEXT TUESDAY at Joe’s Pub in NYC. Our stellar lineup includes the likes of Opus Moreschi, Elna Baker, Morgan Murphy, Mark Malkoff, Arden Myrin, Victor Varnado and beatboxer Chris ‘Shockwave’ Sullivan. All proceeds to Special Olympics New York. Advance tickets highly suggested.
2 months ago
In its wilder days, New York City’s East Village was home to the raucous dive bar CBGB, where a makeshift stage became the most holy ground of the American punk rock scene. Today, that same locale sells $200 jeans acid-washed in Deborah Harry nostalgia, but last night, just a few blocks away at Joe’s Pub, the anarchic spirit of Joey Ramone and Richard Hell engulfed World Record Appreciation Society #16.
The event started out on a freakish note as it was announced that thanks to a friendly horseback cop and a curious son, URDB co-founder Corey Henderson could go down at any minute with an acute equine allergy attack. (Thankfully, we didn’t have to put him down.) So the room was already on edge when Kelly Reeves of URLesque fame performed a bit of “redneck tap dancing,” setting the world record for “Most Clogging #1 Steps in 30 Seconds.” She hoofed it up like a Grand Ole Opry veteran, all the while wearing a delightfully Hee Haw-flavored dress from her days as an eighth-grader. Clog on, Kelly.
Next up, Nancy Mendelsohn combined her self-described “freakish flexibility” with the vox populi’s insatiable rage for all things World Cup in the footie favorite “Fastest Time To Put On A Full Face of Makeup While Balancing On A Soccer Ball.” On-the-go appliqué is a skill she mastered on the subway, so she got dolled up while being all balled up in just 26.6 seconds.
For one night, Cory Cavin channeled his inner-Bono, setting aside his love of frivolity (and egg nog) to set a record with a deeper meaning. To perform the “Fastest Time to Produce a Socially-Relevant Documentary,” Cavin went to the audience to interview a man about the vitally important issue of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s controversial bill curtailing police wiretapping and limiting press coverage of criminal probes.
While the would-be Errol Morris edited his masterpiece, URDB queenpin Alex Young positioned herself offstage for the “Most Red Plastic Solo Cups Held Up Against A Wall Using A Person’s Body.” She stood inches from the wall, while her boyfriend Tom started squeezing the cups in.
While the cup pressing record got underway, Siobhan Gilbert came onstage and boldly announced, “I’m gonna’ do some swearing!” She proceeded to set the record for “Most Unique Non-English Curse Words Recited In 30 Seconds.”
As URDB Grand Pooba Dan Rollman exclaimed, “These records are all over the place!” And that was before ToTs and Mix Master Mash brought their hip-hop patata patois to the mic for “Most Sexual Innuendos in a Potato-Themed Rap Song.” This wasn’t a one-night gimmick, either. This starchy duo only raps about all things potato on albums like “Au No You Didn’t.” Truth be told, ToTs spit the spuds so fast, this reporter couldn’t keep up, but an official parsing of the lyrics found 16 caloric come-ons. There were indeed fries with that shake.
ToTs explained that the night’s featured charity partner was St. Baldrick’s an organization that raises money to fight childhood cancer by getting people to shave their heads for charity, something the good folks at ToTs’ family pub in Syracuse partake in. All door proceeds from the night were donated to the cause. A masterful artwork from illustration legend Michael Arthur was also auctioned off (see above - he drew it live!), as well as a pair of VIP tickets to see a future taping of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.
Todd Lamb showed off some of the 13 “Notes Left in Public Places in NYC by a Fictional Character” seeking people like a professional dead cat handler and/or a dirtbike motorcycle owner to ease his commute. See all of Todd’s, er, Chris’ hilarious notes here.
Cavin then debuted his hard-hitting documentary, which he described as “The Cove meets Fahrenheit 9/11 meets The Shining, but more terrifying because this is real life, but it has a lot of hope like The Shawshank Redemption.” Fitting, because like the Maysles Brothers at Altamont, this night was about to turn into utter chaos.
A packed house joined Kurt Braunohler in a the “Largest Group Meow Rendition of ‘Lean on Me’,” a version so beautiful that even Crazy Joe Clark would’ve put down his baseball bat. But the warm vibes were usurped by the strong smell of an illegal (at least in-a-pub) narcotic, nicotine! Illusionist Richie Magic set the puke-inducing, hopefully never broken, record for “Most Lit Cigarettes Extinguished With Tongue in One Minute.” The man crushed 60 butts on his tongue, turning it black as night and making Gene Simmons shtick look like child’s play. A reformed smoker, Richie says he does the dirty deed to show kids the effects of smoking, that they will look and smell like an ashtray. Asked why he would put himself through such a fiery ordeal, Richie replied, “Even though my mouth is burning right now, I always put the kids first.”
As the smoke cleared, Matt Reynolds broke the existing record for “Most The Big Lebowski Catchphrases in One Minute.” The erstwhile Dude busted out 31 quotes while wearing a stolen Polish bathrobe. Truth be told, though, he should have been sipping on a White Russian. It would’ve really tied the record together.
As if the night wasn’t crazy enough, filmmaker Jay Buim slammed it home by setting the record for “Most Gallagher VHS Tapes Smashed At Once.” Bits of plastic flew into the audience as Buim destroyed the watermelon-crusher’s oeuvre in a half-loving tribute, half-angry takedown.
It was a fitting end to a night of mayhem. The fans ate it up. As Buim himself put it, “Nothing gold can be stopped. If it’s too raw for Joe’s Pub, than they just can’t handle the URDB.” Punk rock forever.
2 months ago
Massively excited for this event. Our lineup features the likes of Kelly Reeves, Elna Baker, Cory Cavin, Todd Lamb, Alex Young, and many more. The night also marks the NYC debut of Kickstarter legend ToTs, the world’s only rapper who rhymes exclusively about potatoes.
All proceeds from the night will go to The St. Baldrick’s Foundation, a group that raises funds to combat childhood cancer. Advance tickets (highly recommended) available here.
2 months ago
Don’t think I can explain how excited I am to have hip-hop legends ToTs and Mixmaster Mash on the bill for our June 29th World Record Appreciation Society event at Joe’s Pub.
Thanks to the awesomeness that is Kickstarter, I funded Au No You Didn’t, the world’s first-ever hip hop album entirely about potatoes. ToTs and I went on to become pen pals, and I’ve now invited him and Mixmaster to come down to NYC from Syracuse to perform at our upcoming event.
World Record Appreciation Society #16 marks their New York City debut. They’ll be setting a potato hip-hop record, and performing a song or two from the album. If you love good times and spud rhymes, I’d encourage you to buy tickets ASAP. Dan
3 months ago
Next Tuesday, May 25th, we’ve lined up our best URDB World Record Appreciation Society lineup in the history of URDB World Record Appreciation Society lineups. Advance tickets HIGHLY recommended, and available here.
All proceeds benefit 4 Paws for Ability, an organization committed to providing service and companion/pet therapy dogs to children with disabilities and serious illness.
Lineup includes:
* JON FRIEDMAN (The Rejection Show) - World’s Fastest Late Night Talk Show
* ELIZA SKINNER (Baby Wants Candy) - Most Strangers Pets’ Names Mentioned In An Improvised Song
* BETSY DAVIS - Most Whipped Cream Portraits Drawn In One Minute
* KEVIN ALLISON (The State, RISK!) - Record TBA
* JOHN SHRIVER - Most Led Zeppelin Riffs Played in One Minute
* ELLA MORTON (The URDB World Record Show) - Most Pieces Of Chalk Thrown At A Person In A Taco Suit Singing “Space Oddity”
* MORGAN MURPHY (Late Night With Jimmy Fallon) - Record TBA
* TODD LAMB (Notes From Chris) - Record TBA
* EDMUND HAWKINS (Late Night With Jimmy Fallon) - Most Portraits of Strangers Drawn Ambidextrously In 2 Minutes
4 months ago
In this episode of The URDB World Record Show, host Ella Morton goes backstage at our recent World Record Appreciation Society event in NYC. Features exclusive interviews with the likes of Baratunde Thurston, Craig Baldo and Owen Biddle, bassist of The Roots. Watch it or stink.
5 months ago
World Record Appreciation Society #13: St. Patrick’s Day Blowout
By: Patrick Sauer
This past St. Patrick’s Day, New York City’s East Village was packed with Irishy revelers wobbling to-and-fro as spontaneous step-dancing broke out in the streets, but all of the partying wasn’t confined to the sawdust-covered floor of McSorley’s. A few blocks away, a St. Patrick’s Day celebration of a different sort was taking place, and it was a raucous ceiliúradh to match any Pogues concert.
The Universal Record Database held their monthly live show at Joe’s Pub with a St. Patrick’s Day theme. True to holiday form, the lively crowd was lubed-up on discounted Guinness, so much so that the taps ran dry.
The evening kicked off with a father-and-son-duo celebrating their feast day by setting the record for Fastest time for Two Patricks to Name Fifty Famous Patricks on St. Patrick’s Day. (And yes, Patrick Star the Starfish counts. He’s as famous as they get in Bikini Bottom.) Tradition met the future as one Patrick (yours truly) was on stage while the other Patrick (my father, Dr. Patrick Sauer) was Skyped in from the Irish enclave of Billings, Montana. For a few moments, technology frowned on the Celtic connection, but the Record Gods smiled upon us as we nailed the list in 45.53 seconds.
Next up, Elna Baker came on stage and begin affixing conical caps to her person, as it would take her a little while to set the record for Most Party Hats Worn At Once. No good Irish affair is complete without a visit from Johnny Law and Baker almost missed the show after her brazen K-Mart shoplifting led to a future court date. And by “brazen,” we refer to her crime of opening a box of Balance Bars because the flavor she wanted wasn’t available. Baker has a reputation as the Courtney Love of the virginal Mormon set, and in true rebellious fashion she has one message for the Man. “You owe me $1.49.”
While Baker did her Bartholomew Cubbins thing, URDB web show host Ella Morton returned to the stage to reattempt Longest Time Hula Hooping On One Leg. She failed to beat the 3:00 mark in February, but had dedicated herself to a strict hula-hooping training regimen since then. Irish eyes were smiling on her leprechauny getup as she spun herself into immortality, setting an impressive mark of 3:07. There’s an important lesson for you kids out there: Never give up on your dreams, even if they involve yo-yos, hula-hoops or pogo sticks.
Drummer Alex Alexander brought the East Village back to its art rock days, performing the “Most Sounds Made From A Drum in Four Minutes.” Audio experts will have to parse the results, but his Senegalese drum produced more than 200 feedback-heavy noises. Alexander had the audience in a trance, helped by the fact that Baker was still on stage, now more or less hidden under her whopping 114 hats.
First-timer Stephen Bent took three shots at “Most Balls Juggled While Drinking 300 Milliliters of Beer.” It was a bold attempt, foiled by the science of suction in a two-beer foam dome helmet, but Bent manned up and admitted, “There was a general lack of preparation.” He’d just gotten back from a show with the Calgary Symphony as a member of the famed Flying Karamazov Brothers, but he made no excuses. “I don’t blame the beer. I blame myself…and the hat,” he said, adding, “I’ll be back.”
Diego Medina then stepped up to set with Most Backronyms Created in One Minute. Random letters appeared and he came up with phrases, which oddly, included multiple uses of the word “kangaroo.” (And no, “Oof” is not in the lexicon.) The record now stands at 10 backronyms, which probably won’t stand the test of time, but was a solid effort for Medina’s maiden voyage.
The newly married husband and wife team of Christine and Justin Gignac incorporated fine Irish cuisine in their Largest Lucky Charms Beard record. Using fat-free milk (a record-setter trade secret), Christine affixed 61 pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars and green clovers to her new spouse’s face. Proving once and for all, Lucky Charms is not actually food.
URDB shows at Joe’s aren’t all fun-and-games. Each month, door proceeds go to charity. This month’s recipient was Lifestyles of the Disabled, an organization that helps intellectually disabled adults in Brooklyn and Staten Island live in a productive environment. Director of Development Kevin Joyce got into it by setting the record for Most Lies Told About Oneself In 30 Seconds. He isn’t an African-American, doesn’t have a twelve-inch vertical leap, and isn’t related to Lindsay Lohan, but he is a guy who told 14 lies and had a great time with a gang that did yeoman’s work draining the Guinness. “I certainly had some drinks in me,” Joyce (as Irish as they come) said with a laugh. “It was an awesome night out.”
Next up, comedian Eliot Glazer laid down on stage with his pooch Atticus and stole the show. Not much needs to be said about Most Bench Presses of A Live Dog In One Minute, other than it was confirmed that Atticus was indeed alive, even though he was as still as a taxidermy pup while being pumped up-and-down 53 times.
Colbert Report writer and URDB stalwart Opus Moreschi brought the crowd to a nasally frenzy with the group record for Largest Nose Flute Orchestra. 109 “musicians” joined in the cacophony for a rousing rendition of “Mary Had A Little Lamb.” It needed more bagpipe, but the snotty symphony was the second act of musical experimentation that would’ve made local legends Sonic Youth proud.
The final act of St. Patrick’s Day madness came from Toronto’s own The Record Collection, a comic duo who flew in that afternoon to compete head-to-head for the record of “Most Potatoes Fit in Pants While Wearing Them.” Future historians will debate whether this was a sly cultural play on the generational changes in Ireland from the days of the Great Potato Famine to the booming Celtic Tiger, but for URDB fans, it was a chance to watch two dudes shove spuds in their drawers.
With duct-taped ankles, The Record Collection got after it. The record had dangerous elements to it as Craig Morrison suffered a potato-related finger injury, and it nearly turned into a much more illicit affair. Sam Stilson said his little St. Patrick “almost flew out about five times,” and Morrison noted the back of his drawers did. “I felt bad for the band behind me,” he said with a mischievous Gaelic grin.
In a fitting equal parts black-and-tan finale, Stilson and Morrison ended up with 21 lbs. of potatoes apiece. The night came to close with everyone feeling they’d been blessed with the luck of the Irish…or, at least the good fortune to witness some crazy Paddy’s Day records.
Slainte.
